Foreplay to the Finish Line in 60 Seconds
So just how much of a stallion do you need to be to make your wife happy? Foreplay, manual stimulation, oral, plus a few positions all thrown in together - if this is what it takes to make your wife come, you're going to need a lot of free time!
It Only Takes a Minute
Lucky for you; endurance isn't something that most women want. In fact, according to a recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the "most desirable" length of time to spend having sex turned out to be only 7 to 13 minutes. Women started rating anything from 10 to 30+ minutes as "too long". In fact, only 3 to 7 minutes of intercourse were needed for the act to be considered "adequate" and only when sex averaged one to two minutes or less did couples think that coitus wasn't lasting long
You may think spending hours performing every foreplay technique in my book "Turn Her On Faster"
is the best way to ensure she's turned on, and that having explosive sex will require you to use every technique in my book, "Female Orgasm Secrets Revealed"
but only about a third of women believe that "a large variety of sex techniques is a must for sexual
Be open, ask your wife which of the many techniques that she has experienced turn her on the fastest. Don't worry about her finding the question awkward; she's been waiting to hear it from you for years, but you haven't afforded her a safe place to be explicitly asked about this delicate issue.
Remember, you are trying to break away from that all-or-nothing thinking! Sometimes, less is more and one steady technique is enough. Remember, almost half of all women prefer their fingers or their vibrator as a way to
You Aren't Just a Lawnmower
Knowing that she has an easier time coming all by herself, it can be easy to feel rejected and replaced. You've heard that old joke, right?
"Why did God create man?"
"Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn."
That may be true - I've seen some pretty ridiculous contraptions in my search for sexual fulfillment, but none that could cut the grass! But for women, sex isn't a separate part of our existence. Lust isn't distinct from our love and respect for you. These emotions intertwine and are incredibly complex.
A Vibrator Can't Cuddle
Yes, sometimes when we are hot and bothered, when we need to relax and focus or fall fast asleep, masturbating is preferable. Sometimes we all just want to be alone - you too, right? But there is a clear distinction between the easiest way to orgasm, and
the most enjoyable sexual experience.
Sexpert Tracey Cox points out that "there is a reason why we jump through extraordinarily complicated hoops to not only make someone like us, but lust after us - it might be harder to have an orgasm with another person but it's usually far superior
Throw Out the Calendar
What kind of hoops have you been jumping through? Sex schedules, couch cuddling sessions, couple's therapy, a bevy of skills workshops - your brain is probably so full of new techniques that it's ready to explode!
Throw out that calendar. Women want the type of orgasms that are hot, exciting, intense, and don't interfere with their afternoon workout and getting dinner on the table! The only way to ensure you are prepared for this kind of action is to master one mind-blowing skill at a time.
Be a Musician, Not a Technician
You've warmed your wife up and she is primed and ready with you between her legs. As one hand heads for her soft bits, you run down the list of techniques to try in your head. You are so preoccupied with what's next in your arsenal that you can't really tell if she's enjoying herself or not. You don't bother to ask, because you're too concerned with transitioning into the next move, and acting out the lie that you're best for her as a "strong, silent type".
A technician keeps a list of jobs he needs to get done and checks each one off in a row, making sure he hits every point until the machine in front of him is "fixed". While an indispensible part of being a good man in day-to-day life, darling, this is not a sexy skill.
Kim Cattrall writes that "the musician who never gets past technique never really plays
music". You need to be fit and finessed enough to know a few techniques really well. When you are a master at making love, you can have dozens of skills in your arsenal, but only when you can do them all